Embracing Fear: A Journey to Personal Evolution and Growth

Okay, so Fear…it can be quite scary, right? Let’s talk about fear and how powerful of an emotion it truly is. We’ve all likely felt fear at one time or another in our life. Not only does feeling it let you know you're alive, but it’s also an emotion that offers you choice if you're open to seeing that.

What I've come to integrate into my life is a knowingness of when something scares you, an action that you want to take, or an emotion that you are pushing away, fear shows up to give you a choice.

Either we freeze and stop whatever it was that you were going to do and walk away from it OR

Actually DO the thing, take the action, feel the emotion because it's exactly what you need to do in order to evolve to the next phase of your life.

This topic has been on my heart to talk about for quite some time. To be perfectly honest you guys, I was scared for most of my life. Mostly out of fear of rejection…these thoughts were on replay…”what are people going to think?”, “they’ll judge me”, “I’m not good enough” and most hurtful and scary…”I’m not worthy”. 

All of those fears go along with caring too much about what other people think and not enough about what I’m thinking, myself. Perhaps you've felt this same exact way at some point?

A little about me…I've reinvented myself a few times over the last 20 years. First I was a corporate executive, then a consultant working from home, then a personal trainer, back to consulting and finally fulfilling my dream of becoming a certified life coach. 

The most important thing I can do as a life coach is to help people cope better with stress or reduce it all together. My goal through life coaching is to change humanity one life at a time, that’s a big, hairy, scary goal, right? I won’t ever make it true if I allow fear to win. 

So I broke the goal down to make it less scary. I want to truly make a difference in the way people think, blow up their perspectives so they can create options, realize they have choices, be empowered to finally live the life they’ve always wanted and deserve to have. 

Most of us don't take action to change the results in our lives because of fear. But what if we could? How different would your life look? What would you be doing today if you didn’t let fear stop you from going after it?

Let’s first talk about where fear comes from. It’s actually created in a really important part of our brain, I like to call it my “critter brain”, technically, it’s the prefrontal cortex. This part of our brain was created for our survival, to make sure our level of feeling loved, safe and belonging does not change. So in order to keep us safe, the critter likes to make up stories so we don’t create change because, well, the critter brain hates change. 

There are 6 myths or stories the critter brain creates, which ultimately drives our level of fear and anxiety:

1. Perfectionism

2. Overwhelm

3. Feeling stuck

4. Feeling behind

5. Not doing it right

6. Other people are farther ahead on achieving their goals

Let's break these down, one by one..

1. Perfectionism - I'm so guilty of being a perfectionist. I should be doing this perfectly, anything less is a failure. How about we reframe this and trade perfectionism for presence? I know I'm not doing (fill in the blank) perfectly, but I'm present, I'm taking action and I’m doing the best I can with loving intention. Doesn’t that feel better in your body? Lighter, less pressure cooker! Also, chew on this paradigm if you haven’t heard it already - “There's no such thing as failure, only feedback”. You can't get it perfect every time, but you can learn from each try, can't you?

2. Overwhelm - I have to figure this all out or I will fail. Anyone can learn anything, at any age, as long as it's learned in small chunks, one step at a time. So break down whatever it is that you're feeling overwhelmed about and take one piece at a time to get a little closer to finishing it.

3. Feeling stuck - I'm lost, I'm stupid, I can't figure this out. Instead, own your stuckness, realize the reason why you are feeling stuck is because you're not seeing any options yet. There may be something else you might need to know, or see, or understand and once you do, then you'll be able to move through. You might be clouded by emotions and need to step back, get another perspective and gain clarity so you can move forward. 

4. Feeling behind - I should just quit, I can't keep up. What if it's okay to be exactly where you're at? Maybe there's a specific reason with a positive intention as to why you’re at the stage of your life you're at right now. Don’t forget, every master was once a disaster! Allow yourself some grace, the goal remains the same, might you be able to allow the plans to shift? Because life happens, so stay focused on the goal and your reason for achieving it and you'll get there at the exact time you're supposed to.

5. Not doing it right - If that’s a recurring phrase in your head, ask yourself…According to who? Is there truly one right way to do this? How about you trust that you can figure it out, and by the way, you’re allowed to ask for help.

6. Others are farther ahead - Comparing your life with other people just isn't fair to yourself. We have no clue what others have been through or go through on a daily basis. Remind yourself - I'll have exactly what I want as long as I'm moving towards it instead of backwards or not at all.

So a question I'll leave you with, how might fear be of value to you right now in what you're fearful of? Is it protecting the love, safety or belonging you have? Maybe, and what if we can keep that positive intention and simply change the mechanism, so instead of fear stopping you, what if fear is trying to signal you that you have an opportunity to change, to evolve, to leap into the next phase of your life?

Keep Living On Purpose!

Karielle